36 Things I Love On My 36th Birthday
Weighted blanket. I do not know how I ever slept without this. 10/10 recommend, especially for my fellow insomniacs. This particular brand has some kind of magical “cooling” technology so I never get too hot (I even use it in the summer!). I kid you not: my sleeping has improved tenfold.
Getting up at 5am. I hesitate to ever say something “changed my life”—but in all seriousness, getting up at 5am has changed my life. Monday-Friday, the alarm is set and the coffee is scheduled. My current routine: coffee, rub ice roller all over my face, Bible + Bible recap reading, dip into another book or two, light a candle, do morning pages, and then I write. Worth noting: my kids sleep through the night, my boys make their own breakfast in the morning, and Presley is still in a crib. All of these factors make the 5am quiet time possible (it hasn’t always been this way).
The public library. Confession: I started using the public library consistently in 2020, for the first time in my life. How did it take me so long to fall in love with this place? Every Thursday afternoon, I take the boys to the library after school. I have cut my (nonexistent) book budget in half. My favorite thing in the world is randomly grabbing a book off the shelf, simply because it looks compelling, and then loving it so much I buy my own copy (I’m looking at you, Textbook).
Melatonin. If it’s bad to take 1 mg of melatonin every night, please don’t tell me. I started taking Melatonin regularly in March/April of 2020 when I was, no joke, sleeping around three hours a night. My insomnia was so bad I had headaches around the clock and my doctor was the one who suggested taking Melatonin specifically with L-Theanine to help calm my mind before bed. This stuff is a game changer. Pretty sure I am single-handedly keeping Nature Made in business. I take one tablet before bed, fall asleep easily, never wake up groggy.
J. Crew Factory Slippers. Is a description even necessary? These are my house shoes, and I love love love them. I’m no influencer, but I have influenced a lot of women to buy these and I have no regrets.
Acure face scrub. My friend Anna recommended this face scrub a few years ago, and I was immediately hooked from the first use. This is my “shower” face wash—it’s got a slightly gritty texture and exfoliates like a charm.
One week on/One week off Instagram schedule. Every other week, I delete Instagram. I started doing this in September of 2020 and cannot even begin to tell you the fruit and freedom I have experienced as a result. Never say never, but I highly doubt I will ever go back to being on IG full-time. I also delete the app every January and every August and highly recommend taking a month-long break at least once a year. Not great for keeping up with the algorithms, but fantastic for improving your creative work and mental health.
Shooting film. I forgot how much I love to learn something new. I’m currently shooting with a Nikon f100, buying cheap film off Amazon (have also used Film supply club), and getting scanned at The Find Lab.
Giving up foundation. I stopped wearing foundation at the start of the pandemic, because a) we weren’t going anywhere, and b) I hated getting makeup on my mask. Last summer I got a facial and my esthetician introduced me to Colorscience Sunforgettable Total Protection Face Shield Glow SPF50, which is a mouthful product name for “tinted sunscreen.” Every morning, I wash my face, apply Vitamin C followed by a light layer of Supergoop*, and then I mix a tiny bit of Colorscience with a couple drops of face oil and rub it all over my face with my hands. Yes, this means I put two forms of sunscreen on my face (#thisis36). I top with a super light dusting of this translucent powder, dab of blush (I use beam color), swipe of highlighter on my cheekbones, and call it done.
Bottom line: I think using tinted sunscreen instead of foundation actually makes me look … younger? I think? Big caveat: this stuff has a warm dewy glow, which isn’t for everyone. I live in California, where gold and shine is always in, but if you’re used to a flat, matte look, this stuff might be too much for you. Worth asking Sephora or an esthetician for a sample!
*Do you have an HSA account? Supergoop is available at hsastore.com and I cannot say enough good things about this face sunscreen.Reusable makeup remover pads. I haven’t used a makeup wipe in like … three years. I have Face Halo and Saie reusable beauty rounds (two friends gifted me these from Fab Fit Fun boxes, but you can also buy at Walmart!), and like them both. Simply saturate with warm water, rub your face, and watch your makeup come right off. No chemicals! No makeup wipes filling up the trash can (or landfills)! I clean mine with hand soap after every use, and toss in the washing machine every time I do a load of towels.
Sabbath. In 2021, I read this book, felt what I can only describe as lightning bolts of conviction, and our family has been practicing Sabbath ever since. What does this actually look like? Sleeping in, eating cinnamon rolls off paper plates, going to church, grabbing takeout on the way home, spending the afternoon being excessively lazy (Tv! Movies! Video games! naps!), more takeout or leftovers for dinner, followed by quality family time hanging out in the backyard or playing board games at the dining room table. Our guiding mantra, paraphrasing Shelly Miller: Sabbath isn’t about resting perfectly; it’s about resting in the One who is perfect.
Sequence. This is our favorite board game, often played on Sabbath evenings.
Lululemon Align leggings. Have I ever told you about the time I was invited to attend a yoga event at Lululemon and sort of balked at the invitation because I had, for no reason whatever, worked up a stereotype in my head that everyone who worked at Lululemon was incredibly snobby? And then I went to said event, and the Lululemon staff could not have been kinder? And I felt like a total jerk? So much so that I emailed the store manager and confessed my secret judgments, apologizing for my assumptions and thanking her for proving me wrong? That’s a long way of saying: the Lululemon align leggings are completely unmatched and unrivaled (I’ve had mine for YEARS, I wear them constantly, and they still look and feel and wash great) and also—the Lululemon staff at the Arden Fair Mall is awesome.
Almond milk vanilla coffee creamer. I love Brett with all my heart. This coffee creamer is a close second.
Maya Brenner initial necklace. This is my favorite jewelry piece, after my wedding ring, and pretty much the only necklace I wear. Brett ordered this for me after we had Presley, so I have an initial for each child. (This necklace isn’t cheap, but there are lots of Etsy sellers who make similar designs.)
Aquafor - I don’t know if I got this from my grandma, who forever and always has a large tub of vaseline sitting on her vanity, but I really really really love Aquafor. You remember in My Big Fat Greek Wedding where they said to put windex on everything? That’s how I feel about Aquafor. I use it for chapped lips, dry skin, eczema, anything and everything. When in doubt, put Aquafor on it.
Knockoff airpods. I don’t know how the real things compare, but I have these dupes from Amazon and use them almost every day to listen to Voxer messages while I wash dishes, tidy up, go for walks around the neighborhood, put on makeup, what have you.
Voxer. I will never get over the grace of this little app. I talk to a lot of friends on here, but it’s the ongoing conversation with my mastermind group that has been a real lifeline over the past two years.
Speaking of which, I’m obsessed with my mastermind group. Three friends and I committed to hold each other accountable in our writing goals in early 2020, and the collective friendship and bond we’ve formed since then has absolutely changed my life.
Fringe spiral notebooks and these Sharpie pens. My favorite writing staples.
This pink scooter. Hands down, one of the best gifts Brett has ever given me. Presley has this one, and if twinning scooters with your daughter is wrong, I don’t ever want to be right.
The Peloton. We canceled our gym membership in March of 2020, basically didn’t exercise for an entire year, and then ordered a Peloton in March of 2021. Admittedly, I never considered myself a cyclist or even a person who liked cycling, but after a bunch of friends started raving about the Peloton, I caved. I will be honest—I am not obsessed with the Peloton the way some people seem to be, but I like it a lot more than I thought I would. I have never consistently worked out at home like I do now. I love the accountability of being able to meet up with friends for a ride at the same time, I love the music, and I love the (sometimes emotional?) pep talks from the instructors (which, 9 out of 10 times can be applied directly to writing).
Sunshine. I know it costs a zillion dollars to live here, and people are fleeing California in droves, but I swear the pandemic has given me a whole new appreciation for our weather. Last week I was having an off day, just feeling down and low for no apparent reason at all, so I went outside, plopped my body in a lounge chair, tipped my face to the sun and opened my arms like I was ready to receive an offering. I just sat like that for ten minutes, letting vitamin D seep into my skin, and I swear I felt like a new person afterwards. I do not take it for granted that I can access this type of therapy in my own backyard the vast majority of the year.
Popcorn on the stove. I love popcorn—always have, always will—and I am willing to die on this mountain: popcorn on the stove is superior to every other option.
Trader Joe’s candles. (Also see: Trader’s Joes flowers. Trader Joe’s candy. Trader Joe’s everything.)
The RealReal. I am growing increasingly passionate about shopping sustainably so I’ve been shopping more secondhand in recent years. I recently added TRR to my rotation (other faves include Thredup and FB Marketplace). There’s definitely a learning curve to shopping secondhand online, but I find knowing your measurements and sticking to a few familiar brands helps.
Thrifting as an artist date. Before kids, I used to love scouring thrift stores. I rarely have the time or patience these days, but I’ve made it a point to pop into a Goodwill a couple times in the past year. I forgot how much I love treasure hunting. This is a weird kind of creative outlet for me—looking for hope and potential among other people’s trash. Two of my best finds in the past year: this painting, and these vintage glasses.
Cookbooks and cookbook stands. Every time I visit a food blog, I feel like I am going to have a stroke. The pop-up ads. The auto-playing videos. It takes 17 minutes to get to the actual recipe. I just … cannot. I am admittedly a pretty terrible cook but I am trying to change that in 2022 and I am finding a lot of joy in using a real cookbook.
My personal newsletter. File this under: something I love more than I thought I would. AKA: currently my favorite creative outlet.
Breakfast smoothies. These smoothie packs from Costco are a such a gift in the morning (I love that they have kale + spinach in them!). I blend with a banana, almond milk, almond butter, and two scoops of collagen powder. Pairs well with eggs and bacon, keeps me full for hours. We drink them out of mason jars with lids.
Our House always pan and perfect pot (referral link for $20 off). You know you’re getting older when you are legitimately giddy about new cookware. I’m going to file this under: something I didn’t know I needed. My MIL got us the always pan last year for Christmas, and then recently gifted me the perfect pot for my birthday. I don’t know what kind of magic they’ve used to coat this cookware with, but these pots and pans cook and WASH like a dream. I’m talking one gentle swipe of a sponge and boom, clean. I’m obsessed. I used to have multiple pots and pans of varying sizes and I have donated most of them because I find myself using this single pan and pot for 90% of my cooking. They are not cheap, and I never would have bought this for myself, but now that I have them, I can absolutely confirm they are WORTH THE MONEY. I would not hesitate to buy them again. These would make an excellent wedding or (generous!) housewarming gift.
Spotify premium. You know how sometimes you think a subscription isn’t worth paying for because the ads aren’t that bad? I used to think that about Spotify but after converting to a premium member, I can say with absolute certainty listening to your playlist without ad interruption is a far superior experience. If nothing else, go ahead and upgrade your account before giving birth so you’re not pushing a baby out to the soundtrack of an insurance commercial.
Tuff Shed Backyard Office. Right before the pandemic, Brett accepted a full-time remote position. A few months into both of us working from home (around the clock, in our bedroom)—we realized something had to change, for the sake of our jobs, yes, but also for the sake of our marriage and family life. We are still paying off our HELOC (which is how we funded this project), but Brett and I agreed: having a separate, dedicated workspace, is essential for our family to function well with two parents who both work from home. Brett works 40-50 hours a week and I work 25-30, so we split our time out there in shifts, and take turns rotating in and out of the house depending on our meeting schedules and childcare.
Traveling. I get such a rush of energy seeing different parts of the world, and while I don’t have the budget or childcare to travel as much as I’d like, I’m finding that planning a big trip every five years, and a handful of little trips in between, is incredibly life-giving to me. Brett and I are celebrating fifteen years of marriage this summer and are currently planning a trip to Riviera Maya (!). I love having something on the calendar to look forward to, and nothing gives me greater anticipation than a future vacation.
Plants. I know. So basic. So millennial. But nothing perks me up quite as much as buying a new plant. Most of mine are from Trader Joe’s, Ikea, and Green Acres.
Owning fewer, better clothes. The older I get, the pickier I am becoming about the fit and quality of what I wear. I’m finding I enjoy investing in fewer pieces that I can wear over and over and over again, as opposed to mindlessly participating in fast fashion cycles. Still a work in progress, but I am working to shift my closet towards more ethical, sustainable brands.
